For many of us, those seem like words we'd never say. And yet, they are said to shelters and rescue groups on a daily basis. We wanted to explore this issue from a dog behavior perspective. Specifically, the behavior related reasons for dog returns we've seen repeatedly throughout the years. While there definitely are behavior challenges and mismatches that make a dog genuinely incompatible with a given home or much more likely to thrive elsewhere, many of the most common behavior related reasons for returning an adopted dog are not only things we can improve, but sometimes things that could be avoided in the first place with better information, more effective matchmaking, and the right supportive strategies in place.

ARE YOU READY FOR A DOG?

It may not feel like it with all of the cute dog photos saturating the internet but it’s okay if the answer to this question is no! It’s also okay if the answer is no to adding an additional dog to the dogs/other companion animals already in your home right now. Anyone who follows us knows we’re big advocates for adoption and fostering of pups in need but from a behavior perspective, we also know that not every home needs a dog or needs an additional dog. Maybe the time isn’t right. Maybe fostering or volunteering fit better with your lifestyle. That’s okay! If adding a dog isn’t right for you or your household at this time, there are other ways to get your pup fix and volunteering at your local shelter is a great one!

To help decide whether you’re ready, ask yourself a few questions:

How will the dog’s needs and daily routine fit into my daily routine? How will other members of my household be impacted by bringing home a new dog? Think through when feeding time, walks, bathroom breaks, and enrichment will happen. An adult dog will likely need a minimum of 3-4 bathroom breaks a day, at least one good daily exercise session, and regular access to enrichment.
Can I afford to pay for veterinary care, behavioral training, pet sitting, and daily life expenses including food and enrichment? Do I know how to access support if I’m struggling? Am I prepared to be there for my dog through unexpected medical or behavior needs?
Do I know what’s normal when it comes to dog behavior and what’s best practice when it comes to training methods and responding to my dog’s behavior? A LOT of behavior struggles, returns, and unfortunate incidents stem simply from human misconceptions about what’s normal for dogs and how to respond to their dog’s behavior. Dogs do not come already knowing how to successfully navigate the human world or your personal lifestyle preferences and the behavior field is largely unregulated which means misinformation proliferates. Take some time to do a little learning before deciding to bring your new best friend home!

MAKING THE RIGHT MATCH

While it’s true that a lot of what makes a perfect match can’t be planned for and boils down to the connection between human/dog, it is also true that A LOT of training struggles and dog returns are the result of mismatches between dog and home. We cannot perfectly predict how a dog is going to behave in a given home - behavior is highly contextual and just doesn’t work like that. But we can do our best to start with an accurate baseline for making the right match.

Energy Level. This is not something training can change about your dog and an underexercised dog is not going to be a blast to live with because they are frustrated and their quality of life is suffering. A true couch potato dog or a dog with physical limitations like popular brachycephalic breeds is also less likely to be a successful running buddy or keep up on long hikes. Do your best to choose a dog whose exercise needs are going to fit with your lifestyle.
Personality and Enrichment Needs. Choosing a smartypants dog? A dog with high oral enrichment needs? A dog who prefers a lot of human affection/attention? Again, training can’t fundamentally change who a dog is so make sure you are up for meeting the enrichment needs of the pup you’re bringing home. ALL dogs need enrichment but a highly intelligent, work oriented dog, for example, is going to need more mental enrichment than average just as a physically high energy dog is going to need more exercise than average.
Age. Puppies are adorable. They are also A LOT of work. And if you bring home a puppy, you are automatically committing to aaalll of the developmental stages of that dog’s life. Puppyhood is directly followed by adolescence and young adulthood. Are you up for that?
Typical for Breed Traits. My cattle dog is nipping our feet when we run around the yard! My corgi is herding the cats! My german shepherd doesn’t like it when visitors come in unannounced! My akita doesn’t do well at the dog park! My australian shepherd seems to want soooo much exercise and enrichment! Yes. Please, please read up and talk to the shelter, rescue, breeder, or behavior professional you are working with about typical for breed traits. While behavior, including typical for breed trait driven behavior, varies by individual and can be modified and directed in healthy ways to fit better with your lifestyle, no one is a good enough trainer to completely alter genetics and there’s no reason to set yourself and your new dog up for an uphill battle.
Living Situation. Are we asking a dog from a rural shelter/rescue to live in a downtown high rise? A fearful or shy dog to live in a busy apartment complex? It’s not that it’s impossible for a dog to adapt but sometimes when we create serious mismatches between dog and living situation, we set up a far more stressful than necessary situation for everyone.
Special Behavior Needs. Some of us genuinely are up for bringing home adult dogs with known special behavior needs. Several of the folks on our training team prefer it and will choose adopting big dogs with special behavior needs over those very cute puppies every time! But it’s not for everyone and not every behavior need is for everyone. If you think it might be for you, we hope very much that the shelter/rescue you are working with staffs and/or partners with qualified behavior professionals and is giving you good support and good information. But if you’re unsure, bring in a behavior professional before choosing your new dog. (PS. Remember, normal dog behaviors are not special behavior needs. Dogs are dogs and they behave like dogs.)
Resident Humans/Other Pets. We elaborate on this in the sections below but when bringing home a new dog, it’s important to account for the needs of everyone in the household.

And what is the single most full proof way of ensuring you’re making the right match if you’re in doubt? Foster first!

THE TRANSITION PERIOD

You load your newly adopted pup into the car and bring them home. You know right away that you are this dog's person and that they are home to stay. The dog, on the other hand, has no idea. You are just the latest person to change their routine and shake up their sense of stability and security. They don't know they get to stay with you and they are very likely stressing out and quite possibly acting out. The less stability this dog had before coming home with you, the more true this is.

Or, maybe you bring your new pup home and immediately start thinking, what on earth have I done? That initial panic and uncertainty is very normal, for people and pups alike.

Adding a dog to your household is a huge decision and the transition period is high on this list for good reason. So many wonderful dogs are returned before they have even had time to show their true personalities, bond with their new humans, or feel comfortable in their new environments.

So how do you tell your newly adopted best friend that they are safe and loved and that this is their home? You show them through your actions. Your dog's first 30ish days in your home should be very low pressure and filled with routine, consistency, supportive strategies, and an abundance of patience. The more consistent you are with the right approach and supportive strategies, the more quickly your dog will begin to build a sense of security and settle in as an integrated part of your life.

Fortunately, there is a ton of support available to help you and your dog through the transition period, from free resources, to professional trainers and, often, from the organization through which you adopted. If you adopted from our local city shelter here in Austin, check out the Behavior Assistance Program offered by Friends of Austin Animal Center.

CUTE PUPPY BECOMES A NAUGHTY TEENAGER

A lot of dogs arriving at shelters are adolescents and young adults. First, anyone familiar with what humans are like during that developmental stage should not be surprised that adolescent and young adult dogs can be a handful. All those hilarious stories of that crazy, ridiculous thing someone's dog did? There is a good chance they did it between the ages of 7 months to 3 years old . Adolescent and young adult dogs are bursting with a mix of energy, curiosity, and still developing brains and bodies that can make them seem like canine tornadoes without the right supports in place.

So, what to do with puppies to set them up for success and what to do with adolescent and young adult dogs to keep you from pulling your hair out? For puppies, training and appropriate socialization are a MUST. It's non-negotiable.

There are a plethora of available puppy socialization classes, as well as excellent books on getting your puppy started on the right paw. And as for that adolescent dog, this is the perfect time to really develop your relationship with your best friend. Get busy. Invest in puzzle toys, sign up for a fun class or extracurricular activity with your dog like group training, agility, group hiking, nose work, or a good old basics class. Hit the backyard for a game of fetch. Go big on enrichment.

Most importantly, remember to keep your sense of humor and to reach out for help when you need it.

LEASH REACTIVITY

“I love my dog but every time I try to take him for a walk, he goes crazy. He barks at other dogs/stray cats/bicycles/strollers/joggers/people in hats/cars/you name it. I feel embarrassed taking him outside the house and think I might need to return him.”

Leash reactivity is not a quick fix but it is just as modifiable as it is common. It may also be worse during the transition period as the dog is acclimating to their new environment, bonding with their new human(s), and building their sense of security. There are training classes specifically on the subject, helpful books, excellent training programs, and even supportive communities for owners of reactive dogs. We have written an expansive blog post on how to help dogs with this specific challenge and have an in-depth recorded webinar available too. Can it be embarrassing to have your dog go gremlin during your neighborhood walk? Sure. But it impacts such a high number of dogs (wonderful dogs who aren’t defined by a single behavior) that we think it’s worth putting the work in on if you’re up for it.

SEPARATION/ISOLATION ANXIETY

You leave and your dog panics. They pace, pant, drool, vocalize, destroy things, attempt to escape (or actually do escape), go to the bathroom inside, and sometimes even hurt themselves. True separation and isolation distress is not to be confused with the bored dog who chews your shoes or the corner of your couch or a dog who is simply not housetrained. These are panic disorders and depending on severity, can be at the higher end of difficulty for behaviors to work on with your dog. How difficult also depends on human lifestyle. A household with the ability to more easily accommodate the lack of alone time that often comes with working through these behaviors earlier on is going to be a much more successful and less stressful match for human(s) and dog both.

Your best bet for handling separation anxiety is help from a professional trainer like a CSAT (Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer) or a structured online program. Many dogs with separation or isolation anxiety also benefit from the use of behavior medications and/or supportive calming supplements. You can find more free resources on separation anxiety here and here.

NOT GETTING ALONG WITH OTHER PETS

It’s absolutely normal for dogs to have different social preferences and integration needs and while needing to be the only dog is not uncommon, it is also a label frequently given to dogs who may just need the right match, a slower introduction, or some extra help with their social skills. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Getting along with other dogs (or cats) in one situation does not necessarily transfer to all others. Dog passed his/her cat test at the shelter? Had a blast in play group? Was kenneled with a canine buddy? Great! This means that dog CAN get along with others but not that he/she automatically will in every situation.
Do not just toss 'em together and see what happens. Your existing pets and your new dog all deserve to have their needs, space, and boundaries respected and to be set up for success. There are a variety of frameworks for integration and what every single one has in common is that they take time and require some structure at the outset.
A fight does not necessarily mean failure. If a dog does significant damage in a fight, professional intervention is no longer optional but becomes a must and if we're talking about a newly adopted dog and resident dog, is a strong indicator that this isn't the best or safest match for the household. However, most fights are primarily a lot of noise. They sound scary. They look scary. But they do not mean the animals involved cannot coexist or that either one is “bad” or inherently dog aggressive. Dog arguments and mild scuffles are relatively common in the world of dog interactions.
Meet and greets are your friend, but not the holy grail. We highly recommend meet & greets for resident dogs and new additions to get a general sense of how they respond to one another. They can be an invaluable indicator for success, but a meet & greet cannot and does not predict exactly what will happen between the animals post adoption. Some dogs do great with casual interactions and play but have difficulty sharing a home while others are unsure meeting new dogs but can share their home quite nicely once comfortable.
It's in the details. Though we may not understand what has happened, a fight or an incident never occurs without reason and rarely occurs without warning. This is one of the reasons professional help is so important. Helping your new pets get along is much easier when you can identify triggers and sources of stress or discord. Learning to read dog body language and identifying healthy dog play can go a long way as well.

If this is something you’re navigating, we’ve got a webinar for that too.

NOT GETTING ALONG WITH THE KIDS

As behavioral reasons for returns go, this one has perhaps the least wiggle room. If a dog is truly a danger to a child or stressed by living in the presence of children, he or she needs to find an adult-only home or perhaps a home with older children. Some dogs are simply uncomfortable with children; their fast movements and high activity level can seem scary. It could be partly lack of socialization but it is alright, and not abnormal, for a dog to prefer an adult-only home.

Another commonly seen side of the issue is dogs held to a higher (and often grossly unfair) behavior standard than children. Dogs and children can be a great and very special combination. If an animal is brought into a home with children, it can be a wonderful opportunity for the children to develop their sense of empathy, responsibility, and to form a bond that lasts a lifetime.

However, at no time should children tormenting a dog be disregarded as “kids being kids” or acceptable behavior. It is inhumane and it is dangerous. A dog defending him or herself from being chased, cornered, frightened, or hurt is a disaster waiting to happen. A child ends up bitten and a dog often pays with their life.

When bringing a pet into a home with children, the responsibility falls on the adults in the household to know what appropriate interaction looks like from both the dog and from the child and be able to facilitate that interaction. In this case, knowing really is half the battle and can make all the difference between a frightening and heartbreaking outcome and companionship with positive lessons and memories that last forever. Learn more about safe interactions between dogs and children here.

THE BASICS

If you’re considering returning a dog for pulling on leash, jumping on people, peeing in the house, digging in the yard, stealing shoes, not coming when they're called, or drinking out of the toilet…STOP! This is the easy stuff!

We don't mean to trivialize these as behaviors you just shouldn't worry about but they are very common dog behaviors a trainer can absolutely help you improve! A little time, patience, and training fun and you and your flip-flop fetishist can be on the road to happily ever after.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS…

As we said back in that first paragraph, returning your adopted dog is not always the wrong choice. There absolutely are situations where it’s necessary or simply the better decision for everyone. But adopting a dog also means making a commitment to your new family member. Before you make that commitment, it’s important to take the time to first ensure you are truly ready to welcome a dog into your home and then to do your due diligence on finding the right match. Even the easiest dog in the world requires time and support from their person. They are also going to do dog things and will not come already knowing how to integrate themselves into your lifestyle. To ensure integrating them into your lifestyle is something you’re reasonably likely to succeed with, you want to consider the energy level, enrichment needs, known behaviors, typical breed traits when breed is known, and personality of the dog you’re adopting. And if you aren’t quite sure? Foster first!

Dogs are not robots. Much like us, they have thoughts, feelings, quirks, and habits. They come with individual personalities and preferences as well as all that very doggie stuff inherent to their species. There will be ups and downs and there will be challenges but there is nothing else in life like having a true canine companion. As the W.R. Purche quote goes, "Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong."

Interested in learning more? Check out our posts on finding a smoother training journey, our short cheat sheet on how to take the easy way during that journey, and our spotlight webinar on finding the possible in your relationship with dogs.

Want to work with us in person (Austin and surrounding area only) or remotely? Visit our services page.

A NOTE TO SHELTERS AND RESCUES

While it is impossible to perfectly predict or control what will happen once a dog leaves your care, there is a lot that can be done to help ensure appropriate matches and easier decompression and transition times. Embrace and prioritize quality of life and behavioral care, build competence in understanding and supporting dog behavior amongst your staff and volunteers, and get to know the dogs in your care so your matchmaking can be as effective as possible. Post adoption support is wonderful and so helpful but what happens before the dog goes home matters just as much.

Providing the dogs in your care with a humane quality of life is an ethical imperative and should be reflected in how staff and volunteer efforts are directed. Every dog who goes into a new home setting is going to have a decompression and transition period even when we do everything right. But a less stressed dog who has received appropriate behavioral care during their shelter/rescue stay is typically going to have a shorter and easier decompression period than a dog who, at the more extreme end, is recovering from the trauma and emotional/behavioral dysregulation of living in an unhealthy state of stress. We should not be sending dogs home behaviorally worse off than they arrived. Embrace ethical behavioral care and learn what it looks like.

I Need To Return This Dog