“See if the Dog Let’s You Pet Him…”
We hear variations on this phrase A LOT. If not verbatim during consults with fearful dogs, they often sound something like…
“I don’t know what happened. The dog was letting me/the visitor pet him but then he snapped.”
When engaging with dogs, we *always* want to honor consent when it comes to touch and the level of social interaction a dog is ready for.
This is especially true for fearful dogs. Often, “letting” someone touch the fearful dog without the dog fleeing the situation or behaving defensively is viewed as a barometer for success.
But that is not our goal. Tolerance is not success. In fact, it often means a fearful dog is practicing a negative emotional response to humans when what we’re trying to build is a positive emotional response *and* is learning that humans are not going to respect their boundaries or listen to their more subtle communications, making it more likely that they feel the need to escalate that communication to a defensive display.
What we instead want to teach the dog is that their boundaries and communication *will* be respected, that they are safe in social interactions, and that those interactions can be a positive and even fun experience.
If we want to teach the dog those things, we need to move at their pace, listen to what they are saying, and let them tell us when they are ready for touch with a particular person. And if they are not ready for touch? That’s okay too. We do not need to pet every dog we interact with. If that bums you out (we get it, we want to touch all the dogs too!), ask yourself whether you want to be touched by everyone *you* meet.
What does consent look like? Check out this great video from @dogkind_training:
Want to learn more about the social pressure we often unintentionally put on dogs? Check out this excellent read from @eileenanddogs:
https://eileenanddogs.com/blog/2020/04/29/space-invaders-humans-pressure-dogs-animals/
